I don’t know if its just about the rain…or just about the difficult situations I’m having right now…or just because this should be our “Big Day”….but the bottom line…I miss you…I want to run to you..cry at your shoulders and tell what is wrong. I miss my best friend…I miss that special person who understands me when no one does. But I know I pushed you away…and will no longer come back.
Three years…it’s been three years since you said to me that you are happy when you are with me…and that I felt the same way with you. Since then we became the very best of friends, we shared each other’s hardships, sufferings, defeat, struggles and as well as our triumphs, accomplishments, achievements and joys. We are there during the ups and downs of our lives. You are my best friend and eventually…my lover..the partner whom I prayed for such a long time.
For those who really don’t understand what we’d been through would just say that we should just let each other go. Ironically, nobody does. Even I myself told you a lot of times that we should let each other go for reasons you all ready know. But you never told that same thing to me…in fact, what you are always saying is, “I don’t want to lose you.”
For three years, I fought for this love…I’ve waited for that day when you will finally tell those words that I longed to hear. But why is it that when it finally came, it still seems a dream…we can’t still be together. Is it really my fault? Or you just came late? Why it that our plans, our moves and actions do not always coincides? Is it fate? Or is it us?
I thought, I can stop my self from caring for you …I just need a matter time to think and reflect on everything we’d been through. The only difference now is that I’m not hoping anymore that we could have a happy ending…I am now contented with the though that once in my life..I had you. Those three years consumed so much of my strength and courage to continue this battle. I have so much of it. I felt like a defeated warrior left in the field. I don’t wanna fight anymore.
I’ll just cherish everything that we’ve had. If what I feel for you now isn’t love, I really don’t know what to call it. Just the old song…”what matters most”. Thanks for letting me hear those magic words…its better late than never.
If there’s such a thing as reincarnation, next life or what ever terminology relating to life after what we have right now…I just have one wish: that on that life…everything is rightfully made for us...and on that life it is US who will end up together.
